In the last year, I started to believe that attachments are not beneficial for one’s personal freedom, experiences, and development. My mom used to tell me that family is really important because family always sticks together. I never understood that. The people of my family to me were always just like anybody else. We can’t choose the people we get born into. (With family I mean the people who raised you because family not always means the biological family, but the people who accompanied you since you were born or really young)
So why should your family be any more important than friends you make over the years with whom you get along way better than with any of your family members?
But I think I am starting to understand what family and on rare occasions also friends you’ve known since you were young means. There is a different level of connection between you because you’ve experienced so many things with them, you went through so many different times and stages together that nobody really can understand or relive. They know you all your life, seen you grow, mature, develop and change again and again. They accompanied you through the most character-forming stages of your life. So even if you don’t get along with them very well they still love you and stand by your side whenever you need help.
Also, there is a difference between attachments meaning being dependent on or needing someone and attachments meaning bondage, support, and appreciation. Needing someone or something is never good because nothing lasts forever and you can’t depend on anything 100%. So being dependent on something or someone will always at some point keep you from moving on, growing and learning new things.
But appreciating someone, being grateful they are in your life and enjoying someone’s company while helping each other grow without feeling like you couldn’t live without them and being alright by yourself is something truly beautiful.
People come and go. It’s about enjoying the time you have with someone, learning as much as possible from each other, but not being sad when your paths have to separate. Because in the end you are going to be alone and I think it’s important to love yourself and be happy by yourself.
But I think right there lies the difference between friends and family. Family is always family, but friends are not always friends.
Family (usually) means support, guidance, assistance. They will always stay by your side. But friends come and go. Of course, friendship also means supporting each other, but a lot of the time friends are temporary. They go along with you for some time, you learn from each other and grow through the friendship, but then there is no more to learn and your paths might separate. They might become part of your family and therefore part of the people guiding you, but that is very rare. In a metaphor: You are the seed and the plant that eventually grows out of the seed. The roots are your family and the sun, water, bees, and anything that helps the plant to grow are your friends.