Love. Being in love. It´s weird. Everywhere you go, love (and I mean romantic love) is presented as one of the most amazing, valuable and beautiful things that exist. But is it really? From my experience love makes you blind. Not completely, but enough to make you suppress, overlook or simply accept the negative characteristics of a person, which in retrospect restrained and restricted you in every possible way.
When the love is new you feel like you´re the happiest person on earth, that you found your soul mate and that you could stay with him/her forever. Everything seems to be perfect, but when the initial feelings fade, you start noticing the adverse features of your partner. So you start analyzing your relationship, figuring out how you two work together as a couple and making compromises to make your relationship work.
But by the time you finally go separate ways you realize how much better you are without him/her. I´m not saying you shouldn´t have had the relationship in the first place, because getting as close to a person as you do in a romantic relationship helps you grow and get to know yourself better immensely, but as mentioned above this kind of love makes you blind and ignore all the reasons why your relationship at some point stops benefitting you.
And isn´t love actually only a projection of our desires onto another person? I mean, we all have certain ideas and desires, but we don’t specifically know what it is we want. So we go into a relationship because we unconsciously think we are going to get what it is we are missing in ourselves through the other person. Thereby we are not in love with the actual person, but with the character we want them to be in our life.
Maybe this perspective is too negative though and I should look at it from a different angle. Two people feel attracted and fall in love because they bring out the best in each other. They help themselves become a more ideal self because both partners influence each other positively in the way that they adopt the most beneficial quality of the other person. But what happens then? We get accustomed to them, we know how they act in different situations and at some point we feel there is nothing else to discover, nothing else to learn from the other person, nothing else no gain. Is enjoying the other person company enough to stay together forever? Or are we always in search of experience and growth so that it is almost impossible for us to stay with another person over many years or even till the rest of our life?