Yesterday I was watching a movie and I became aware of what I was thinking or rather what I was paying attention to at the moment.
I was observing the professions the people had in the movie, their perspectives, motivations, goals, ideas about life, and analyzed those, trying to figure out what they did to become happy with their lives. I noticed the difference of what I was paying attention to 3 years ago, one year ago, and now, and I wondered if the things we concentrate on always depend on the stage of life we are in.
But this doesn’t occur only while watching movies. It happens while reading a book or even just walking around, observing strangers, or talking to people. I search for answers to questions I ask myself in my current life in the behavior, motives, and choices of others. Whatever I am interested in at the time or wondering about, I seek in others.
Right now, for example, I think a lot about my future, what job I want to have, what person I want to be, what it is I should do to live a happy life, etc. And these are exactly the things I pay attention to when I watch movies, read books, look at strangers, meet new people or ask and talk about with my friends and family.
But why do I do that? Is it because I am unhappy with my own life, and I am trying to search for the key or the way to happiness; is it because I am trying to understand the goals, motivations, and the purpose of others in order to figure out how to achieve happiness for myself; or because I need someone I can take as an example of how to live my life?
Why can’t I just work it out by myself? Why do I need others for that? Am I that insecure, that helpless or is that just how people work? We compare ourselves to others. Especially to those that seem happier than we are, and we try to figure out what exactly it is that made them this fulfilled so that we can imitate them hoping that at one point we will be as content as they are.