Why are romantic relationships so important to us? Why is it, that for most people, an intimate relationship with another person is one of the most important goals to reach, one of the most desirable things in life?
What is it that distinguishes an intimate relationship from a loving friendship? We put so much work into love relationships. Why don’t we put so much work, patience, effort, strength, etc. into friend relationships?
What makes these types of connections so extremely different from each other? Is it just sex? And if so, why is sex so important to us? Is it all about approval? Are we that desperate to get bodily and personal appreciation?

When we are young, and not sexually mature yet, we don’t think about wanting to have an intimate relationship. That changes once we hit puberty. All of a sudden we crave the attention, the touch, the exchange of love, and physical contact.  What is it that changes in puberty? Is it that at that age, our animalistic instincts for preserving the human race kicks in? Why is it that we feel such a need for romantic and sexual love?

I know the overwhelming sensation of meeting a new person and immediately feeling strongly drawn to him/her. For me, emotions are confusing. They come out of nowhere and hit you with such strength that you feel like you’ve lost your mind. Suddenly, there is no one else. For me, it’s like my brain shuts off and every rational thought is being overwritten by this unexplainable attraction and desire. And that is so weird and incomprehensible to me, because how can I feel so connected and so overwhelmed by I person I don’t even really know?

And when I don’t actively stop my brain from constantly thinking about that person, it wanders off into an imaginary world. I don’t like this feeling of losing control over my emotions and my thoughts. Why can a random person I don’t even know have such an effect on me? I want to be able to decide when and with whom I fall in love with, but that’s not how it works, unfortunately.

Also, being able to control who we fall in love with, would enable us to choose the best possible partner for us as well. We could pick a person that would fit best in our lifestyle, has similar values and ideas; maybe the same plans for the future, someone who has similar character traits, etc. Wouldn’t that be optimal?