Feelings are frightening. At least they are to me. Two years ago, I was so afraid of any negative emotions that I shut off and repressed all of them. That happened somewhat unconsciously, and partly consciously. It started when I was in a really bad place, mentally, but had this ideal in my head, that I always had to be happy and by suppressing all negative feelings, I would ultimately feel good and positive all the time. But instead of restraining all negative emotions and consequently feeling happy all the time, I blocked out all of my feelings and started to feel more or less indifferent and numb at the same time. There were times when all this negativity, all the pain, the frustration, the anger, and the sadness wanted to come to the surface and I became so afraid of my own feelings, that I tried with every strength I had to keep them buried as deep inside of me as I could.
Now, I am in a really good place, feeling happier than ever. My mind is more at rest and I feel pretty balanced. I am letting myself feel again and enjoy my emotions, whether they are negative or positive. I am trying to allow every emotion to be felt, and try to analyze them objectively to find out where they come from. It is my attitude and my approach that changed when dealing with my emotions. At times, I am still scared of my feelings, especially when they come unforeseeable and are super strong. But as I said, I got way better at handling upcoming feelings.